What is the purpose of this game?
The object of the game is to get points and win… that’s what makes it “a game.”
The purpose, on the other hand, is to create a conversational revolution; where discussion, truth, and expression are rewarded. Knowing yourself and having the ability to express yourself in different ways is far more valuable than winning a game through intellect or strategy.
Isn’t the rewarding of points arbitrary and subjective? It’s seems unfair.
Correct! Life is unfair and everyone you interact with judges you subjectively. This game just let’s you know they are doing it and brings awareness to the fact. Normally it’s behind your back… now it’s in your face!!
Why do I ask myself the questions?
This keeps you from getting put on the spot with topics you aren't willing to discuss while letting you choose which question you can give the most interesting answer to.
What’s the point of the activities? (Yellow cards)
Superficially, activities bring fun and lightheartedness to the game. More importantly, they let you practice getting out of your comfort zone and observe others doing the same. Remember, this is only a game… if a prospective partner balks at singing the Star Spangled Banner now, what will happen when the baby’s crying, dinner’s burning, the roof is leaking and an important decision has to be made? Observe yourself and others… who is willing to play full out despite discomfort?? What resistance and excuses pop up?
Why do the yellow cards have only two activities on them?
We want to encourage people to get out of their comfort zone and do things they normally wouldn’t. Fewer choices quickens the pace of the game. The point of activities is to not think; just DO!
Some of the green questions seem pretty deep to be “short and sweet”, why is that?
It’s very hard to gauge the intensity of a question. What is edgy and deep for one person might be simplistic for another, based on their perspectives and life experience.
Remember that a green question is only worth 2 points, so feel free to give a shorter answer.
What if I totally disagree with someone’s answer? Do I still award them points?
Yes, if they communicated their point of view clearly so you know where they stand.Granting points affirms that you understood someone’s perspective, NOT that you necessarily agree with it. This game is not about arguing about perspectives, it is merely a forum for voicing them and letting everyone be heard without judgment or criticism. There is no “right” and “wrong” in this game; there is only open discussion.
What’s the point of the “Wild” space?
The wild space allows all players to answer a chosen question and really crank up the conversation with everyone’s participation.
What’s the point of the “Doghouse”?
It’s another metaphor for life. Sometimes things don’t go your way, you end up “in the doghouse”, and need to appease someone to get back “in the game”. Life can be uncomfortable and embarrassing, so can "the doghouse"
Can we award partial point value?
Absolutely. If someone answers a question and leaves you wanting more, or seems vague and guarded, give them less points but let them know why. If you don't accept or understand their answer at all, they get no points. (example: you know the person and their answer is in direct conflict with what you know about them)
Can we make up our own rules?
Of course you can!! It’s your game and we encourage you to use it in whatever way brings you the most value and enjoyment. We had to supply basic rules, but the game is very versatile and the rules are more like guidelines and are open to interpretation. We hope you will share your homebrew rules on the online forum.
Do we need to keep score to play?
In our experience, many people do not keep score, they just enjoy the conversation. However, keeping score can bring in a competitive element, which some people enjoy. We personally are in love with the idea of “paying” someone with points to speak up and be heard. It shows that you value them and want their input.
Do I have to answer all questions or do all the activities?
Absolutely not. Just like life, you are always at choice. However, remember that how you are anywhere, is how you are everywhere. Said another way; if you are going to wimp out on fully participating in a game, you probably wimp out on fully participating in your life, too. Use this game as a safe place to practice speaking your truth and coming out of your shell.
Isn’t all the talk and play-acting about sex going to promote promiscuity?
This game is intended for adults. We live in a culture that is obsessed with sexual images and innuendo, and yet we are unable to discuss sexuality in a frank and open manner. The game provides a context to have real conversations about a subject that dominates our thoughts, fears, motivations and actions. Talking about a subject does not necessarily promote it; in fact, by removing some of the taboo around it, people may be able to connect through conversation rather than just through sex. Throughout this game, players are encouraged to examine what they truly want, ask for what they want and to explore their boundaries.
We never get past a few turns and no one ever gets many points because we get stuck talking. What’s the point if no one ever wins??
Funny thing how we are hung up on winning. If this game gets people talking so that they learn about each other and themselves, then it will have served its purpose. In fact, if the purchase of this game inspires you to read a book on our reading list or donate to one of our sister charities, you and the world will have received value and benefit… even if you never actually play the game! (but we hope you will play, because it’s fun; and fun is good).
The questions have a very clinical tone to them. Why is that?
It was the outcome of the intent that the questions be non-judgmental and open-ended. We were mindful to keep our personal opinions out of the questions, since it is your answers that matter, not ours.
Some of the questions have multiple interpretations. Why aren’t they more clear?
Part of the beauty of the game is that your perspective and interpretation of the questions makes the game unique to you and everyone you play with. Fabulous conversations can arise from discussing the “meaning” of a question. While we may have had a particular range of answers in mind when we wrote the questions, we are always delighted to see what comes up for people that we couldn’t imagine as game designers. How you interpret a question is key to how you answer it, and is part of the experience.
Won’t playing this game break up a lot of couples?
Possibly. Although that is not our intent, we are sensitive to that as a possible outcome. Many couples were never meant to be together, and a lot of unnecessary suffering results. If playing this game ends bad relationships before children are involved, we think that’s a positive outcome. If a relationship can’t stand up to playing a game, then it was never meant to be.
Were any children or animals injured or abused to make this game?
Absolutely not. Adults worked for long hours without pay, but no whales, baby seals or spotted owls were harmed.